December 28, 2013

Live to impress

Hi! It's Saturday night, and unlike any other teenagers in my city, I just spend tonight (like any other night tbh) sitting at home staring into my laptop for dear life because that's literally the only thing I can do now. Because I'm ill. Three days going out with mom to random malls, I got sore throat, head ache, and flu. It feels winter for me because I keep freezing and my feet are damn cold :$ I wasn't going to post anything until new year because I don't like writing rubbish and tbh my ramblings are as bad as my life but I have no one to talk to because... I'm lonely. Yeah, sure I'm surrounded with my family and friends but recently I feel like I'm losing my sense of social. I feel so alienated.

I don't know is it me or is it them or is it the world that has problem but it seems like friendship issue will be my next best friend. Speaking of "friendship", I had a very terrible experience with making friends years ago when I was still studying in elementary school. I was so easily fooled and betrayed by many of my friends (yes, people, betrayal existed since long ago in my life) and thus I lived my life to impress other people. Because I was afraid that no one would want me as their friend. Which apparently, it was the truth. But as the time goes by, I learned and I changed myself. Much to my dad's words that I can't be an introverted person because that's a negative behavior. And so I changed, into a better person. I open myself to the world, not caring if I would get hurt or betrayed. My life slowly turning brighter and more cheerful because now I'm not that awkward anymore to start a conversation and people remember me.

But as I changed, people too. And in this case, my best friends. This is probably why I was so introvert back then. I'm possessive with what's mine, not only my stuffs but also my friends. When I see my best friend hanging out with a stranger, I feel so jealous. Because I wonder why wouldn't they spend their time for me? I have a very few best friends and mostly we share the same interests—that's what brought us together as a best friend at the first place. So I hope that we can hang out together spending time doing our stuffs together. Then this oh-so-called jealousy feeling comes over me when I see them happy with people I don't know. I suddenly feel left out and dumped >< It's rather unfair for me when I can't have fun without sparing a single second thinking about my best friends, wondering what they're doing now and at least, still showing them that things won't be fun without them. But it doesn't seem like it for my best friends. So the conclusion is, I think I'm the only one who actually has no friend. When I think and worry about them, they don't do that for me. Not that I want some repay, I just want to feel what is it like to be worried by my friends, having me flashing through their mind even for a second.

After all these years I tried to change myself, now I'm back to the old me. Live to impress. Simply because I'm so scared that they would leave me out here :'( No matter how many times I wanna walk away from them to find my own happiness with someone else, there's something in me that keeps telling me that they will soon notice my effort and respect me. The question is, will they?

Until next post and happy -soon- new year! xx

December 26, 2013

Winter festive

We're in the middle of holiday already, and soon pretty things are going to end by a few days #booo :( And by that I mean school and tasks and homeworks and tests gosh. Oh well, how are you guys spending the holiday? ^^ Christmas has been one of my favourite holiday though I don't celebrate it, possibly because it's in the same time with new year? I've been just sitting around doing nothing. I enjoy watching movies and cartoons in my bedroom while listening to the sound of the rain falling softly to the ground. Yep, it's still rainy season here and it's madly raining every afternoon or evenings. New year and rain never work well together, but I love both so let's just enjoy what I have here.

I've told you before how my mom is getting addicted to making lots of Asian cuisine now. So this would be more likely my christmas (and new year...) foods. She always make lots of them >< At first I was anticipating this because it's rare for me and my family to actually enjoy sushi and its friends. But then it's like everyday is nothing without sushi and sushi... :| They all taste good tho! If it wasn't for the sake of mom's new business I guess she wouldn't dare to make all of these. Don't know whether I should be thankful or not for that lol.

Anyways, I'll be posting very soon for the report of my new year celebration. So stay tuned! xx

December 17, 2013

Beach Happiness

Beach Happiness

I really don't know why suddenly I made this set. It's freaking winter—and wet season in my country. So why? Well, few days ago I helped out my friend to pick her the right outfit idea for her yearbook photoshoot. That's the good part about living in a country that only has two seasons all year. You get to play at the beach for anytime you like, the cold won't bother you. The only thing we still care is the thunder, blizzard, and too heavy rain. I totally felt like a stylist when I helped her, ha! This isn't purely 100% my idea, all the pieces are merely what she already picked since the beginning, I just made a set for her to make sure that she wasn't going to forget even the tiny details. What do you think?

December 15, 2013


Eating // I've been eating a lot of sushis and other Japanese snacks because my mom just started a little business with her friend in this field. Me being the goddess of eat-too-often has the job to make sure that every foods that made, tastes delicious. Thus I only eat onigiri and sushi for the past few weeks at home because mom's so worked up on that and that's like the only thing she does on free time. I just hope that consuming raw fish and seaweed this often will at least makes good impact on my brain, not the other way around.

Writing // I'm still trying to gather the scattered pieces of my story ideas for Aren't laws made to be broken which foreword had been up on AFF since like, probably months ago. It's really hard to find the perfect time to write the first chapter ugh. Well I decided to just make it short into 3 chapters so I wanna make sure I write good and beta-read it before it gets published. And it's really new to me writing Kaisoo fanfic. If this isn't for hyung's birthday promise I wouldn't do it because this story was formerly about Taoris. Mianhae.

Listening to // I am so overwhelmed by the christmas spirit—I always am! Eventhough I don't celebrate christmas but I love the atmosphere, all warm and cheerful. Aside from crazy sales happening at malls, the thing I love from christmas would be the songs singers come up with. I didn't expect EXO to make a christmas album because they just finished doing promotion for Growl album and now, I can't stop listening to Miracles in December. Seriously I just wanna tear myself apart because this song sounds so sad despite of telling us how magical christmas is T^T Uh, thank's a lot EXO, really.

Watching // Some Korean variety shows. EXO Showtime! and Running Man are on top of my list. Well I've told you guys numerous time that I don't really watch TV and rather spend my time surfing the net.

Thinking about // What major I'm gonna take in uni. Haha yeah the topic is still bugging me and I haven't really decided which faculty I want to take, everything seems to be interesting suddenly! ><

Looking forward to // THIS YEAR'S NEW YEAR EVE. Because it's gonna be my first time spending new year with my loved one ;) I hope everything's going to be good and I hope our plan will go smoothly! *fingers crossed*

Post inspired by her, I made this post via her.

December 10, 2013

Music makes one

Wow it's already December! Haha, too late? Uh, I've been very busy with school and all. Homeworks, exams, tasks, school seems like a very horror place despite of me going to that damned place everyday. I think I won't be able to do a review of 2013 here on the blog. I did for 2012 and it was when I still had my long holiday. Holiday this year won't be the same because, well, I still have to study even on holidays :| Suck huh?

Me lookin like a boss teaching Ditha the right tune to sing Story of My Life haha!

But anyway, I was having a super fun recording for my music task last Saturday. Went straight to Rizfan's house since his place is completed with music studio. So my teacher asks the students to be able to sing and play instrument. Being a quite jerky music teacher she is, she decided to turn up the challenge by making us both do the singing and playing the instrument at the same time... I was going to sing accompanied by a friend for the instrument part but then I decided to just keep going and finally I successfully played the piano, covering Open Arms from Boyz II Men. This won't happen smoothly if my xiao didi didn't bother to help! >< Isn't he such a sweetheart?

Wanna hear the good part? He plays both piano and guitar like a master which he is

So the reason why I picked Open Arms is because it's a very easy song to play. At least for an amateur in piano like me. I was hating this music task at first because I don't like singing. I prefer to just play the instrument rather than singing or doing both at the same time. I can barely divide my focus yo. But I'm starting to thank my teacher because this task has brought back my sense of music alive. I'm now browsing the YT for some more piano tutorial ^^ The video is, unfortunately too big for me to upload. But I guess I'll do another recording for the cover, just for fun because you guys gotta see how I play it haha!

Until next time, xoxo

November 08, 2013

你是我的万事 ✌

생일축하해, 형님!

So it's finally November 8th. Which means it's finally D-Day. Happy birthday, hyung :)

Okay so let's start my national speech. I know I can never thank you enough for being the person you are today. It’s been a year (and few months) since we officially became chairmate in Social 1, huhu. I still remember that day. I’m still amazed what power you posses for dragging me deep into what I am today and for bringing me back to the family of Jakuen ever since. You introduce me to a whole new world, a new side of me I never thought I could’ve became if you didn’t give me the bait to catch. You're like a little spark of colour that never existed before in my life and for finally have you here is my own blessing. Yes, I am blessed to have you as my friend.

Thank you for introducing me to kpop and willing to take me as your dongsaeng. Thank you for making me realize that leaving Jakuen was never be an option. I learned how to get albums from overseas, you help me fulfilling my thirsty obsession of having english chats every night talking absurd things about our bias and random things about them, you brought back my hidden feeling for staying up late reading fanfics, you were there with me (literally, well) in my first concert ever, we were even in the same staff-team back on those days during Jakusai. Wow, I never thought I would make you as my role-model :O

You have raisen me up well. Thank you.

So hyung, I hope in your new age, you can be a better hyung-nim for me. You're my little dongsaeng, who's also in charge as my hyung—okay stop I don't want to question about the "hyung" here it's so confusing. 'Go with the flow' has always been your motto. I know you don’t really plan everything, but I’m sure you’ve got plenty of stuffs planned in your head. Don’t tell me otherwise. Because like a wise man said, "Life is when you're busy making plans." ;) So all I can wish is that wherever the flow brings you into, I hope it's for good. Some people say you're ignorant. For me you simply don't give a damn. Life's all about simple stuffs and happiness, and that's how you've been living your life. You also taught me that.

Hope you enjoy all the blessings and gifts we have for you ^^ I'm not that good with chit chats—though I ever said I am, but I'm actually not that good—so let's end this here before I start rambling about anything else. Once again, happy birthday, have a pleasant life, have a BOY *fucking* FRIEND, and probably think again of getting some short lesson of driving vehicles. Any vehicles :|

我爱你, Lee Sora! I love you and the whole world knows I do! Today's your birthday, have a splendid day. Lots of love, your unnie, best chairmate, Baekyeol shipper team...

Adinda Navartierre // 千月 // 박희린 // にしかわ
Anyway, I'm hungry.... ;))

November 02, 2013

Scattered pieces

Yay to short break! I just finished having my mid-semester exams today, hopefully the result will come out as good as I thought ^^ It's amazing isn't it how time flies so fast. It feels like yesterday I was still so busy preparing things for my club's Japanese festival at school, now looking at the time here it all has passed. I've went through a lot of things since being a final year student. I realize it's hard to maintain between my free time and the time where I have to study for real. I am faced with a lot of choice and trust me, when the time's getting closer it even makes you hard to choose your major in university later. I've been keeping my dream still (to work outside Indonesia) but as the time goes by, the choices are getting harder and harder. Like, there are just so many things I have to look at when I make decisions on which major I'm going to take. The competitors, my grades, etc. Not to mention the so many tests ahead and complicated graduation rules I have to fulfill. Sometimes I think that all these tests don't really determine students' capability in understanding school's subjects. The National Exam only takes 6 majors for senior high school students and I think that's just quite unfair because I study 14 subjects for 2 years and 17 for a year :/

Ah school problems haha, of course this doesn't apply for those who are older than me haha. Anyway, if you happen to follow me on Instagram, you must have seen these photos below. So my family went to have a quick lunch few weeks ago (everything posted here seems like happen few weeks ago or so lol) at dad's workplace. And everytime we're here, I never forget to stop by at Calais to buy myself milk tea :9 It has the best milk tea in town! ^^

Anyway, me and T are on our hardest time. This is what I hate from falling in love with someone. When I finally have the commitment to start a relationship, the other party doesn't. Thankfully this doesn't happen earlier because I'm afraid it would affect my test result. Sometimes I think if everything's worth the sacrifice I've taken. Or do I have to take back everything?

Well, until next time and happy Saturday! xoxo

October 28, 2013

Here's to never growing up

So I went to Trans Studio Bandung a few years and decades months ago when I had my mid-year holiday. Speaking of which the place is an indoor theme park, it quickly reminds me with Universal Studio in Singapore. And since I've never been to anywhere outside Java island for the rest of my previous life, I was more than happy to spend time here :D It was so magical and beautiful inside. Ah, rewinding the memories again (and it's raining outside when I write this post!) I felt like I was the 8 y.o little girl back then. Running from one photo spot to the other, bumping to some clowns and dolls, got jumpy over the romantic lights. The place was too beautiful to be true, and I'm hoping to get back to this place as soon as I can with my friends!

Forever21 dungarees, unbranded shoes and shirt

You see I love wearing the dungarees. The floral pattern is so pretty >< It's also very comfortable for a long day walk because the material is really smooth and flexible you can even run in it (not kindly suggest it, really). Beware for the wandering eyes though cuz it's super short haha x) Oh and I'm actually in the middle of my mid-semester exam right now. Having this post written keeps planted at the back of my head so rather than fiddling about it, I suppose to let you guys have a post to read today from my blog ahahahah~

So, see you when I see you (and wish me luck for the exams though)! xoxo

September 04, 2013

Don't forget to catch me

We're not in a relationship. We're not connected in a bond people say as "forever". We can't promise to stay the same. We don't even know when we actually start falling apart because of this. Yet somehow, somewhere along those broken paths and wrong ways, he convinces me that everything will be just fine between us. He promises me to take the responsibilities. We know we won't be together, but we still want to try. We don't know where this relationship will go. There are just too many obstacles to pick and argue.

But we're too young to see that this is so wrong.

Yet so right. And beautiful.

We have too many differences to even start a relationship. We need more than just the mutual feeling for each other to keep going. Funny, I'm not even so sure I want this to keep going. I don't have to know best about him, neither is he. But he promises me to be there. He wants us. And so do I.

As for now, I'll just see where the world leads me to.

Me: "What if later I fall too hard for you?"
T: "I'll make sure to catch you even before you fall."

August 31, 2013

Album review: Growl by EXO-M

Well well well, I guess I've missed a whole lot of internet life for the past few weeks. This is, I must say, the longest break I've ever taken from the blog world. I went to places, spent my holiday beautifully, took pictures like there's no tomorrow, and still fangirling as crazy as ever. I really can't stand for living without personal internet connection—whenever I want to see updates, I have to connect to my school's wi-fi and that sucks. Not to mention the lack of free time I have between the hectic schedule of being in my final year of senior high. I have to keep studying this and that, now that I have extra time to study aside from school, it's almost impossible for me to find free time and take a peek of my internet life. Not-so-proud to say that Instagram and Twitter are the only medias I've been updating in my blog absence. Therefore, making me so poor as a blogger :( But don't worry though, I'll try to make up my mistakes by making some make over to the blog—but I still can't promise you with updates, okay? The web is still on the working, it'll finish on time with new concept! This time I'll try to keep the URL permanent. And the whole concept as well. You've got my words~

Anyway, now that I'm in a new class at nearby course—I've only attended 4 classes until today—there's this one guy that has caught my attention since day one. I always have things for smart guys. They tend to show more respect to teachers and friends, they think before they talk, and the most important, they're quiet. I really wanted to talk to him but never had the guts to because hell, he seems so superior and high class I can't really reach with my very low knowledge. But just yesterday he actually laughed with my ramblings and the seconds afterwards, I found myself talking non stop with him, discussing a lot of things, exchange our minds and well, we kind of argued a little but it was worth it ;D Now that I can't stop looking forward every Tuesday and Friday just to be able to see him! Oh oh, here's for another plus point for me; I had a try out for the national exam last Sunday and since the materials were from the first grade, I was kind of desperate at first because like hell I'd remember everything. So I ended up only studying about English and History. Yesterday I checked the result and God freakin damn it I scored at the 25th place out of 191 students! O.o I didn't even answer the math questions—not even one! Oh that gives me such motivation... :)

Aaaannnddd what's coming to my collection recently is this EXO's repackage album. Though hyung told me not to buy it, I couldn't help myself not to. I mean, not that I want to keep the pictures, or that the CD will remain on shuffle every single day, but more because I have a feeling for collecting stuffs  when I have started getting one. Sooo, I don't think I'll be able to keep my wallet healthy if I keep seeing updates from EXO. I'm starting my hiatus now, fuuh...

Till then, see you when I see you! xxx

May 03, 2013


I finally watched Iron Man 3 with Tara! ^^ Many said the movie wasn't that good, but I can assure you know it's freaking awesome--eventhough you don't get to watch the first and second one, the story plot is enjoyable for everyone! I really want to get myself some robots now...


Left: EXO is not making comeback move in any sooner, so I decided to listen to some new songs from other boybands. Since I saw B2ST live on Music Bank, I couldn't get off my eyes from Yang Yoseob. He looks so much like Niall! >< And their song, Beautiful Night isn't bad at all. You can feel the beat, haha~ Right: When I told you I was studying Mandarin, I wasn't lying. Right when I typed something in Chinese, someone in my tlist replied me and it got me high since I never knew I had real Chinese in my tlist. She said my Chinese was good odg, I even just started!

A gift from my bestfriend, Tara. She really knows how to put a smile on my face :D Big box that include so many happiness when I opened it, urh, gull you definitely know how to treat this young lady ;) Much love for you!

So that's how my life right now, how's yours? :)

April 27, 2013

Wiggle wiggle

Studying three Asian's most iconic language (Japanese, Mandarin, and Korean) all at the same time is really challenging. I gotta get my hands used to the different handwriting. Not to mention it's hard for me to memorize all the letters. Especially when it comes to Mandarin handwriting. There are more than 5000 letters and oh my how come Chinese people created such a complicated letters? TTATT The only thing that helps me keep studying about them is my liking towards EXO lmfao. Just kidding, but seriously if I could master all these languages it'd be my own treasure in the future ^^

Until next post, xoxo