December 14, 2014

Happy girls are the prettiest


Hi people! How's your day? I'm about to start my two weeks holiday before the final exam at collage takes place. Gotta admit that I'm totally nervous because my last failure on midterm exam keeps on haunting my days. I have to work hard this time around so I won't disappoint my parents! Anyway, since that means I have a lot of spare time to spend, yesterday me and a few friends from Sanggar decided to go to the beach again to see the sunrise. It's becoming a tradition you know, randomly driving our way to the beach in the most awkward time. I guess we're just weird like that, haha. But first we hopped off to Eri's house because it was still 10 pm and we didn't want to spend too much time on the beach because our main purpose was to see the sunrise only. There were seven of us, and when we waited at Eri's bedroom, I spotted this cute big teddy bear sitting nicely on his bed's corner! I laughed so hard because I didn't expect Eri to be a type of boy who keeps cute stuffs, especially stuffed animals. But then he said this was supposed to be his ex girlfriend's teddy bear, but when they broke up, she came to him and returned it. Well, her lose. Because now this beautiful and puffy teddy belongs to me! Eri wholeheartedly gave it to me because he said there's no point for him for keeping the doll in his room. And I was so happy because I don't really have any stuffed animals to be hugged when I sleep. And this is the biggest doll I have ever had. So so happy!


Can you see how happy my face is when she's around? ;D I'm still thinking about which name I should give to her. It feels great to have a stuffed animal waiting for you to get home from college. You can even hug it whenever you feel down or sad. At least when Oscar is not around to make me feel better, I have her now! ;p Thank you so much, Eri! You're the best bro ever!

December 08, 2014

I have loved you since we were 18

Unbranded batik dress and skirt, Elizabeth shoes

I'm currently running out of words because I'm catching up with a lot of things right now. But I still want to let you know that I'm still alive. Year end is coming and I feel both excited and worried. Because of many things, of course. Oh well, this photo was taken when dad took me to attend his business colleague's wedding and being the good daughter that I am, I went along.

November 27, 2014

Love and (mis)understanding


To everyone who has been with me through the years, must have known that I have never been tied down into a relationship before. Being single for 18 years doesn't really make me blind about it though. I mean, I know about all the basic stuff of being a girlfriend, about how to be a good one. But when I'm faced with a personality I can't really handle, I become frustrated and confused myself. I keep on searching and asking to my friends about my love life and while it sounds a bit funny, none of the advice I get can actually works on my condition. Tell me, if your boyfriend gets stressed because of his work and he gets grumpy all the time even when you're around, what would you do? Because I don't know what should I do except being there to show him my support :( But I keep saying to myself that it's not enough. I feel bad because I can't bring that smile on his face when I'm around...

Unbranded top and skirt, Elizabeth shoes

I bought this top from my senior on campus and this cool stuff arrived today. Her mother runs an online shop and the sweet thing about having someone who kinda has a connection to an online shop owner is that you don't really have to pay for the shipping of your goods! I just have to see her on campus and pay the original price~ Anyway, yay for double update this week! *cheers* It's becoming very rare for me to update the blog this much because college life has always been a whee and I can't really take proper outfit photos or have anything much to talk about on the blog. I go to tumblr most of the time because not many of my friends see it and I can write anything I feel like it there. It's like my sappy diary, huhu.

So that's the update for now. Talk to you soon! xx

November 23, 2014

You're a bad idea. I like bad ideas


Since I don't regularly update my blog again (because tumblr has been such a dear to me) (blogging becomes really easy there!), I guess I'm gonna make today's post a little bit long. Just a little sum up of my current life. So how do I get start? College life has been a little bit ruined with mid-term exams because the result is starting to be published and let's just say I didn't pass at one subject. It was a godamn important subject most of all and I didn't pass. I admit it, I didn't study hard during mid-term and hung out with my friends instead. But I'm not one who keeps dwelling over my failure for too long. There's still final exam next December and I'll make sure that this time the same failure won't get me.


As for my current life in Sanggar; I'm in the middle of a very busy week. Lots and lots of projects are coming my way and I need to stay focus because honestly it's quite hard for me to keep up on two things all at once. I mean both college and my activities at Sanggar. Sometimes I wonder why my parents didn't let me to get into an art school because studying law isn't really my biggest passion. I still want to study at the other faculty, FIB for example. Fakultas Ilmu Budaya totally has my name all over it and would I be accepted at FIB this year, everything wouldn't be too hard, would it? I mean, I love studying about culture and language, aside from performing arts. And surely, exams wouldn't take too much of my energy because I know I love what I'm studying. But oh well, this is my life now and if I want to survive, I gotta deal with it.


Also, today marks my first month anniversary with my boyfriend! Yaaaayyyy! Like, finally oh my lords I finally have a boyfriend! I'd like to tell you how we first met because this kind of relationship is really messy and funny and all but I've written down everything I remember on my tumblr so maybe you want to jump over there and browse over the tag 'love' :) He's not technically my boyfriend because we don't share any status together, but everyone sees us as a couple and they start calling me as his girlfriend, and vice versa. Well, wouldn't mind that calling anyway, ha! I'm still learning how to be the good girlfriend before we get more serious and since this is my first relationship, somehow everything seems so exciting! I'm a little bit afraid, honestly, because I'm the type of person who always loves more in a relationship. I'm still not ready yet if one day I have to end this with him. But please wish me luck for everything >,< I just don't wanna lose him!

Friend's top, Nevada pants, Gowigasa bag, Airwalk shoes

The top isn't rightfully mine. It belongs to my friend, Rhia. I borrowed it the other day and forgot to return it until today. It's a crop top and she rarely wears it to the campus so I told her I would wear that beautiful shit. But after she gave it to me, I found it hard to find the perfect match to go with it. Today, though, I decided to just pair it with my black pants because I was having my lazy days to dress up. I might take a note not to wear this crop top before I flatten my belly because dude I'm fat and round like a ball, the belly keeps peeking out of the top! I totally need to work out and lose some weight because I guess I'm overweighted lmao. A little bit jogging won't hurt, hmn. Gotta lose those fats around thighs and arms orrrzzzz.

I guess that's all! Will come back to you guys again, hopefully with a more inspiring post. Ciao! xx

Still a long road to go


Wow I can't believe it's been a month since we started going out together. It's still fresh in my mind of how exactly a month ago we suddenly went to the beach because Rihma asked for it, and it was around 10 pm. I was having dilemma whether I wanted to go along or just went home to the guest house, and if you didn't somehow put your ride in college, I 87% believe we wouldn't be here right now as a couple.

You can say four hours is such a quick time for us to bond, maybe too quick for any other couple out there. But maybe that's because we were so broken and lonely at that time so we needed someone to accompany our lonely souls and shattered hearts. That's why we could bond in such short time. I thought whatever happened between us on the beach would end once we reached back the town, but then we continued taking care of each other and it keeps going even until now, right at this moment. And honestly, from the deepest of my heart, I never regret it. I'm glad because I got to know you, I didn't regret tagging along to the beach and didn't sleep until the morning came, I'm happy because in the end, I could finally move on from my previous crush.

Eventhough it seems like we're currently having so many issues right now—starting from our messy and tangled communication, I become more sensitive and cry often when it comes to you, the topic about our different religion, and so on—but I can promise you that I will walk down the road without any regrets and burden. I want us to last, even if it sounds so impossible for us. But a girl can dream, right? So just leave me be.

I love you, Os. Like, really really lots.

Happy first month anniversary ({})

November 19, 2014

Black pearl


My mom is currently in town. She's going back home to Jakarta in a few hours though. And yesterday when I met her, she gave me this ring. Frankly speaking, I don't like wearing rings because my fingers are all so fat, they'd look awkward if I put a ring on it. But the moment I looked at its black pearl (which mom told me it was "real", taken right from the clam itself in Lombok), I couldn't help but to wear it. It has a very elegant detail. I was hesitate at first to wear this ring everywhere I go around campus because the pearl is a bit too big in my liking. I showed Oscar last night and he thought I was getting engaged with someone else, haha! I'm gonna make it as a family heirloom. I'll pass it down to my daughter later :)

PS: The beautiful necklace is a gift I got from Julia.

November 09, 2014

Hiatus

So hi! I guess this will be a quick post. Just a quick one to tell you that I may won't be able to update the blog in the near future due to the many college projects I'm currently handling. I've been trying to do outfit posts or anything to be posted but I've been really really busy in real life and college takes so much of my time. I take this as a positive act because I don't have to sit in front of the computer for hours doing nothing because I've got things to do with my friends and projects to work on with them. On the other hand, I feel bad because I'm not able to blog about my life regularly as I used to. But then again, I gotta choose which one I have to prioritize and my life with my friends here is the one I can't live without :) So I guess I'll take a (hopefully) short hiatus from blogging world. Only until all the business die down and I can start taking proper outfit photos again.

However, for my Indonesian fellas, you guys can still keep up with me through my Tumblr - since I keep it updated and post a lot of things about my activities there almost daily. Just click here and you'll be redirected soon!

'Till then, have a good life and thank you so much for stopping by! xx

October 20, 2014

I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up

Stylish shirt, unbranded skirt, ICONinety9 shoes, Lacoste bag, Monol watch

You know that moment when you feel like things are going really fast you can't even take a look around you even for a second because everything's a blur and no one is there to remind you to stop? I'm feeling that way now. Right -fucking- now. Apparently college life has so many troubles and being a college student means that you have to be able to look for your own good. I learn that I can't depend on my friends all the time. But that's okay because one day there's gonna be a chance I will have to face everything by my own. I start getting difficulties of not living with my parents in the same town anymore. Financial issue, most of the time. You know, typical girls who live far from their parents and my habit of eating many things all at once costs me more than I could handle haha. Also, if you happen to be reading my personal tumblr, I'm currently having love issue with my friend. And this apparently affects my academic life. I get jealous and frustrated and all, I feel down easily and I'm not as passionate as I used to during my first few weeks here. This 'love' has ruined everything and it keeps going out of control. It's like I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up. Without knowing when to stop or get out of the ride.

October 15, 2014

Privilege


Hi guys! I'm in the middle of having midterm exam and I must say, as the first exam after I get to university, I'm not doing my best lol. I could have—should have—studied harder but after going through the third day today, I'm not sure with the result anymore. It will be a dream come true if I score A on the last few exams. It's not like I didn't have the time to study. Hell, I have all the time in the world to do it but when I come back from college and sit down in front of my desk, I surf the net instead of studying. And the next thing I realize is that the clock shows me it's 1 AM and I haven't studied anything. Exam starts on 8 o'clock in the morning and most of the time I wake up late and rush everything, leaving the guest house in a fast pace while having all the random thoughts about what I should have read on the way to college. I just hate myself.

Unbranded top, unbranded skirt, Lacoste bag, Airwalk shoes, Quartz watch

I'm so sorry with all the stuffs cluttered around these photos. I just moved out to my new place and I haven't really unpacked my things—clothes, books, and shoes. And right after I moved out, this whole mess of midterm attacked and so I didn't have time to settle things down. Or maybe it's just me being lazy. Anyway, it's funny how my college friends always surprised to see me wearing skirts—be it maxi or midi skirts—because they see me as a very tomboy girl. I can't argue with that, but can't totally agree as well. Because I can be both in a different time. Some days I love dressing up like a super feminine girl, some other days I feel so masculine that I wear my dad's tie just to spice things up.

Well, gotta study with Dharma (and some friends) now. So I'll just leave you guys with this. Have a nice day!

October 04, 2014

Silver screen and moving stage

Previously, I didn't expect at all to join with Sanggar. My first intention was to join with the organization that would help me to support my future work as an ambassador, which in other words, organizations like ALSA (Asian Law Student Association) or MUN (Model United Nations), or probably even Dema (Dewan Mahasiswa or student council). But it all changed when I saw the girls from Dancer Soul performed rancak dance at the closing ceremony of PPSMB Merdeka. And it was really really beautiful, so cool like I had my eyes a little bit teary at that time because seriously, I've been dancing traditional dance for years and I know it's perfect when I see one. Not to mention that one of my favorite senior was a part of the dance, so in the end, I decided to join the Dance Division in Sanggar. I was really late when I returned the form, and I mis-read the the column where it supposed to say which field I wanted to apply in, but I read it as 'which field you have been on before' instead. So I stupidly checked all the divisions except one; theater. Because clearly, I had no theatrical background and I can't act. Until finally on the same day, kak Eva asked for the dance kids to assemble on our first meeting. The main point was to ask us if we could lay a help for theater because they still needed more players. Everyone from Dancer Soul came on the first trial. But then after knowing how hard it was to play on the theater, some of us started leaving, until finally, me, Cyn, and Rhia were choosen as the (not so) lucky one to play. I didn't know if I had to feel happy or sad because one side I realized of my own capability and I knew I had so little confidence to even act on the stage, but on the other hand, I was wondering about it because I never made it into the theater, so it’s totally a whole new experience for me. And suddenly Rhia pulled herself out of the production, leaving me and Cyn. I was confused at first because Mr. Director told us that we would play as surrealist actors and as much as I knew, surrealist was one of the hardest genre in theater. I didn't know if I could make it or not. But I learned everything step by step, starting from how to show my expression until how I move from one point to the other. It was all a whole new experience for me. I was scared to show my expression to the public, and I was having trouble for not having loud voice to speak with, but now it all has changed because I could finally open that one box which hid all my confidence all this time. I have been a really shy girl to act on stage, but now I'm not anymore. Even more, I get addicted with the applause from the audience. Mr. Director was indeed true; awalnya cuma coba-coba, sekarang justru ketagihan teater haha.

Here are the photos when we performed at Pendopo Tejakusumo FBS UNY last Friday. I can't believe it's been a week since then. The title of the play is "Ayahku Stroke, Bukan Mati" which was fully handled by kak Vandi, aka Mr. Director. Check them out!


This one is kak Mitha. She's from Communication, which I don't know which batch, from UPN. Yep, so this theater play doesn't consist only the kids from Law UGM, but also from other faculty, even other university. That's why I'm so glad I got the chance to be one of the actors in this play because I get a lot of new friends through this! The kids say that kak Mitha looks like my long lost older sister and we could finally see each other again here, haha! Maybe it's because the fact that we both love to laugh even over the littlest thing and we wear glasses with the same medium length hair. Much resemblance?


This is kak Mitha's boyfriend, kak Aji. He also comes from UPN majoring technical engineering. He's quite a funny man and has this friendly look from his face. He got double role this time and it was really entertaining to see him running across the backstage to get all his costumes done on time!

Kak Riyan and kak Begum!

Kak Helvi and kak Age from Psychology UGM '12!

My fellow classmate (most of the classes, well), Cyn.

My boy (the one in dark blue shirt) before he turned to be the Red Devil.

Music team from Justimun!


Yep, so this is the transformation that I had to go through to be the misguided ghost. Gotta admit that I was really concerned about my hair-do because it was terribly damaged to get the 'messy' effect of a ghost. Fortunately the hair-do team didn't use any hair spray and let me had my half-dead-half-alive hair as how it was without further ado. Because if they did, I swear I would have ran to the nearest salon the same night to get my hair repaired and done. It loosed down again the next morning after I washed it with conditioner. Thank's to kak Lukas from Art Division for the make up!

The ‘gay’ doctor, doctor Deddy!

See? Told you so...


This friend over here is another surrealist actor who played along with me. His name is Fakhrul. He acted as the Grim Reaper. And eventhough he only showed up on stage only for a brief few seconds, his role was the coolest one among us surrealist actors! I kinda disagree tho because Dharma still amazes me as the Red Devil.

Clay senpai, the player button pusher! ;p


Wow. I can't believe I just made a new history in my life. At last, for the first time in my life, I played on a theater. The first and main reason why I never got into it is because for me, theater is a very holy place, even holy-er than TV drama and big screen movies. On theater, you are demanded to exaggerate every movement and scene. You gotta be more expressive and look passionate. That is why playing in this theater takes a lot of energy and high level of concentration. Especially for the surrealist actors, gosh. I had to drag my own body from the bottom of the stage to the top of it, somehow throwing the fact that I weight 58 kilos out of the window. Like, seriously??? I never knew I could do that!

But I'm glad that everything went really well. And I feel so proud because I could give my contribution for APAKAH theater. And I'm ready for another round of theater. I can't wait for another play!
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