I don't understand myself anymore when it comes to time management. I feel like wanna throw myself a set of brick to wake me up from my delusional world where I'm supposed to study for the upcoming exam instead of just watching this girl ramblings about her unsatisfied comments of being Singaporean. I kind of forgot why did I watch her at the first place okay it seems legit for me and it's a part of my daily conversation for my English so I thought 'why not?'. I think it's a very old video (or not?) Idk I'm just too lazy to know when did she post it I don't really give a damn as long as I can listen to her and her words and understand her. But if you're curious of my opinions then I'm currently nodding my head along her okay.
Speaking of today's post, I think I'll be writing this a bit longer than I should be (and also to waste another good seconds of my "studying time") because the last week has been a whee and I need to release all my anger somewhere... So as always, school life is really confusing. One time you feel blessed, the other time you feel like wanna burn down that damn place. As the final round is getting closer, teachers at my school start giving us more works and works. And the sweet part is, we have to do it in groups. Which sadly, working in groups is something I am bad at. I mean, I'm selfish okay. I'm greedy for the spotlight, for that special place in teacher's heart that every school works I'm working on, I make sure that no one will be able to copy it. Working in groups with very dependent people is really. not. my. style. There I say it. I mean, can you imagine being the leader for 4 different groups??? Well, the members are all the same, what differs them is just the task. I lead 4 groups all at once and I lead a group which members are all the same for every task. I would say I'm so bored with them but it's not like I have any other chance to pick my own members because whenever the teacher says 'work in groups', these people will pick me as fast as the lightning, and you guys know how it's quite hard for me to say no. So I ended up working with the fucking same group, again. Honestly, I see no problem working with them. If only they can do their task, properly. I can't understand why at the age of 17 all my members can't do their own given job well. It's not like I give them the order to lift the mountains. When I give them orders they will always ask me and look up to me. I have to give them example first before they can do them on their own. And I have to do it for 4 different cases.
What a life.
I am so sorry that you guys have to read my ramblings but I just don't have anywhere to go to pour out my anger huhu ;__; If you happen to read my previous post about that shooting, you're gonna get what I mean this time. Don't get me wrong, pals. I love being in charge and for taking such big role as a leader of a team means so much to me because I have to be able to be responsible for all the chances I make. So far I've been doing really good (I made a video for my economy task and the whole class praised it, fyi) so I don't have a problem with the role "being a leader" because I am proved that I can take my place properly. But I'm not a person who can stand working under high pressure. When I do one task, I have to think about the other task because I can guarantee that none of my members would think about it. Because they think that it's my job as a leader to think about the group's concept. It gets me stressed and I sometimes end up cry myself to sleep because I'm afraid that my plans won't work ><
But anyway, my mom always reminds me that if things go like this again, just look at the silver lining. One day when all these stupid tasks are done, I'll be the one who walks out of the room with face full of proud and my pride rises the highest from the other students because I do it with all my might and with all my heart. I'll be the one who has the most knowledge about a lot of things because those students don't do it, and I do. I learn new things when I try to finish my tasks and they don't. So it's a win-win situation for me yehet. Oh and, few weeks ago my class had another photo session for our yearbook. This time we did it without any professional photographers. Nadya and I were in charge of the results. And since it was a really quick one, I didn't really take lots of photos. Errr, just enjoy what I serve you on the silver plate! xx
Aaaand yep, this is Nadya, my photographer friend (and her mighty camera)
This is why I have less photos than my friends...
Forever selfie because friends can't take my photos properly ;___;
I'm just tired with this being the leader stuffs because I'm a normal student, and I'm a human. Being a leader consumes most of my studying time because I have to record the videos, look for the mistakes, being in charge for the editing part, and so on and so forth. I need a fucking break from all these stuffs. But I just can't bring myself to it because if I stoop down from my place, who will replace me?
This is just another random post from otl. Have a nice weekend! xx