Unbranded shirt, unbranded tights, Destone bag, ICONinety9 shoes
I'm feeling sad :c Because a friend that I thought would share just everything with me, turns out she wouldn't. I have come to a realization that to be by her side is excessive, not when she never really thought about me. I'm a very loyal person at heart, I care about someone more than I do to myself because there was once in my life I was so unloved. I don't want other people to bear the same burden like I did. That's why I always offer my arms to whoever needs it out there. Sadly tho, sometimes when I give out my best to someone, that person never really see it the way I do. All the time I've spent with her, all the laughs and memories I've had with her, and the things she has taught me... I thought I meant something to her.
It's not that she publicly shows her betrayal to me. But she's not being honest to me. And I hate the fact that she doesn't seem to plan to tell me about the thing she had done behind me. I can accept it when someone makes a choice or takes over my plan, and then explain to me why. All she has to do is only tell me the reason. But she didn't. She still talks to me like nothing ever happened. Like she's not aware that she just successfully ruined my life plan for the next few years. And yet here I am, still thinking that she's doing this for the best of me.
I need someone to tell me that what I'm doing for tolerating her this way is not healthy (there, I just told myself). Whenever I see her I feel like wanna shove those tears I spent the day I knew the reality. I hate her for not telling me. I hate the fact that I had to know about this not from her, but from our friend instead. I hate her for keeping the secret until this far. I hate her for still doing it though she already knows I've been aiming for the things she just grabbed from me since I was a kid. I just hate her for silently stabbed me in the dark. I guess this is what happen when you believe someone so much that you end up not realizing she's been keeping a sharp knife behind her all this time. This is why some people are afraid to believe in someone, because when you start believing, you slowly give your defense mechanism a weaker point for someone out there to attack. Now look around you and look closely, which one of your friends is the Angel at first...? Watch out, because someday he / she will turn into a Devil.
PS: This is going to be my last post before the National Exam approaches. Please wish me lots of luck for I'm going to apply for university soon! >< I really really need moral support and prayers from all around the world, I hope you're one of those people I'm gonna remember in my life! So see you in two weeks, loves! xo