November 27, 2014

Love and (mis)understanding

To everyone who has been with me through the years, must have known that I have never been tied down into a relationship before. Being single for 18 years doesn't really make me blind about it though. I mean, I know about all the basic stuff of being a girlfriend, about how to be a good one. But when I'm faced with a personality I can't really handle, I become frustrated and confused myself. I keep on searching and asking to my friends about my love life and while it sounds a bit funny, none of the advice I get can actually works on my condition. Tell me, if your boyfriend gets stressed because of his work and he gets grumpy all the time even when you're around, what would you do? Because I don't know what should I do except being there to show him my support :( But I keep saying to myself that it's not enough. I feel bad because I can't bring that smile on his face when I'm around...

Unbranded top and skirt, Elizabeth shoes

I bought this top from my senior on campus and this cool stuff arrived today. Her mother runs an online shop and the sweet thing about having someone who kinda has a connection to an online shop owner is that you don't really have to pay for the shipping of your goods! I just have to see her on campus and pay the original price~ Anyway, yay for double update this week! *cheers* It's becoming very rare for me to update the blog this much because college life has always been a whee and I can't really take proper outfit photos or have anything much to talk about on the blog. I go to tumblr most of the time because not many of my friends see it and I can write anything I feel like it there. It's like my sappy diary, huhu.

So that's the update for now. Talk to you soon! xx

November 23, 2014

You're a bad idea. I like bad ideas

Since I don't regularly update my blog again (because tumblr has been such a dear to me) (blogging becomes really easy there!), I guess I'm gonna make today's post a little bit long. Just a little sum up of my current life. So how do I get start? College life has been a little bit ruined with mid-term exams because the result is starting to be published and let's just say I didn't pass at one subject. It was a godamn important subject most of all and I didn't pass. I admit it, I didn't study hard during mid-term and hung out with my friends instead. But I'm not one who keeps dwelling over my failure for too long. There's still final exam next December and I'll make sure that this time the same failure won't get me.

As for my current life in Sanggar; I'm in the middle of a very busy week. Lots and lots of projects are coming my way and I need to stay focus because honestly it's quite hard for me to keep up on two things all at once. I mean both college and my activities at Sanggar. Sometimes I wonder why my parents didn't let me to get into an art school because studying law isn't really my biggest passion. I still want to study at the other faculty, FIB for example. Fakultas Ilmu Budaya totally has my name all over it and would I be accepted at FIB this year, everything wouldn't be too hard, would it? I mean, I love studying about culture and language, aside from performing arts. And surely, exams wouldn't take too much of my energy because I know I love what I'm studying. But oh well, this is my life now and if I want to survive, I gotta deal with it.

Also, today marks my first month anniversary with my boyfriend! Yaaaayyyy! Like, finally oh my lords I finally have a boyfriend! I'd like to tell you how we first met because this kind of relationship is really messy and funny and all but I've written down everything I remember on my tumblr so maybe you want to jump over there and browse over the tag 'love' :) He's not technically my boyfriend because we don't share any status together, but everyone sees us as a couple and they start calling me as his girlfriend, and vice versa. Well, wouldn't mind that calling anyway, ha! I'm still learning how to be the good girlfriend before we get more serious and since this is my first relationship, somehow everything seems so exciting! I'm a little bit afraid, honestly, because I'm the type of person who always loves more in a relationship. I'm still not ready yet if one day I have to end this with him. But please wish me luck for everything >,< I just don't wanna lose him!

Friend's top, Nevada pants, Gowigasa bag, Airwalk shoes

The top isn't rightfully mine. It belongs to my friend, Rhia. I borrowed it the other day and forgot to return it until today. It's a crop top and she rarely wears it to the campus so I told her I would wear that beautiful shit. But after she gave it to me, I found it hard to find the perfect match to go with it. Today, though, I decided to just pair it with my black pants because I was having my lazy days to dress up. I might take a note not to wear this crop top before I flatten my belly because dude I'm fat and round like a ball, the belly keeps peeking out of the top! I totally need to work out and lose some weight because I guess I'm overweighted lmao. A little bit jogging won't hurt, hmn. Gotta lose those fats around thighs and arms orrrzzzz.

I guess that's all! Will come back to you guys again, hopefully with a more inspiring post. Ciao! xx

Still a long road to go

Wow I can't believe it's been a month since we started going out together. It's still fresh in my mind of how exactly a month ago we suddenly went to the beach because Rihma asked for it, and it was around 10 pm. I was having dilemma whether I wanted to go along or just went home to the guest house, and if you didn't somehow put your ride in college, I 87% believe we wouldn't be here right now as a couple.

You can say four hours is such a quick time for us to bond, maybe too quick for any other couple out there. But maybe that's because we were so broken and lonely at that time so we needed someone to accompany our lonely souls and shattered hearts. That's why we could bond in such short time. I thought whatever happened between us on the beach would end once we reached back the town, but then we continued taking care of each other and it keeps going even until now, right at this moment. And honestly, from the deepest of my heart, I never regret it. I'm glad because I got to know you, I didn't regret tagging along to the beach and didn't sleep until the morning came, I'm happy because in the end, I could finally move on from my previous crush.

Eventhough it seems like we're currently having so many issues right now—starting from our messy and tangled communication, I become more sensitive and cry often when it comes to you, the topic about our different religion, and so on—but I can promise you that I will walk down the road without any regrets and burden. I want us to last, even if it sounds so impossible for us. But a girl can dream, right? So just leave me be.

I love you, Os. Like, really really lots.

Happy first month anniversary ({})

November 19, 2014

Black pearl

My mom is currently in town. She's going back home to Jakarta in a few hours though. And yesterday when I met her, she gave me this ring. Frankly speaking, I don't like wearing rings because my fingers are all so fat, they'd look awkward if I put a ring on it. But the moment I looked at its black pearl (which mom told me it was "real", taken right from the clam itself in Lombok), I couldn't help but to wear it. It has a very elegant detail. I was hesitate at first to wear this ring everywhere I go around campus because the pearl is a bit too big in my liking. I showed Oscar last night and he thought I was getting engaged with someone else, haha! I'm gonna make it as a family heirloom. I'll pass it down to my daughter later :)

PS: The beautiful necklace is a gift I got from Julia.

November 09, 2014


So hi! I guess this will be a quick post. Just a quick one to tell you that I may won't be able to update the blog in the near future due to the many college projects I'm currently handling. I've been trying to do outfit posts or anything to be posted but I've been really really busy in real life and college takes so much of my time. I take this as a positive act because I don't have to sit in front of the computer for hours doing nothing because I've got things to do with my friends and projects to work on with them. On the other hand, I feel bad because I'm not able to blog about my life regularly as I used to. But then again, I gotta choose which one I have to prioritize and my life with my friends here is the one I can't live without :) So I guess I'll take a (hopefully) short hiatus from blogging world. Only until all the business die down and I can start taking proper outfit photos again.

However, for my Indonesian fellas, you guys can still keep up with me through my Tumblr - since I keep it updated and post a lot of things about my activities there almost daily. Just click here and you'll be redirected soon!

'Till then, have a good life and thank you so much for stopping by! xx