April 27, 2014

À demain


Ugh, it's finally over. Hours and hours of sitting and walking around the building to take pictures of my friends and talking to teachers is finally over. Yesterday I had graduation party from my school and it was nothing more than just 5 hours of sitting and getting sleepy. Haha, I guess I'm not that kind of person who loves social life that much. I wore this purple kebaya which mom made herself. I'm no good dressing down in traditional outfits so I told her I want a simple model. Also, I stick to my mantra; never ever wear something that makes you look 10 years older than your real age. I let my hair falling loosely, not even sprayed it, and set my skirt short just a bit below my knees.

Anyway, I'm going to warn you for bombarding this post with a lot of selca since, you know, it was hard for me to have full-body shot haha. But I've taught Tara how to take photos properly, she should be mastering the photography techniques in no time~ Meanwhile, enjoy the selcas!


The best girl friends I could ever ask for; Fidel and Tara. I should thank God for bringing you guys into my life in my senior high school, because without you two, I don't know would I survive the rough days of school and all. Thank you, girls, for being the best company throughout the years. Thank's Tara for being able to keep up with my silliness, thank's for lighting up my bad days, thank you for accepting me for who I am and always be there to listen to my endless rants. Thank's Fidel, for introducing me to kpop. Thank's for your treats and all those experiences I've went with you. Like I've told you numerous times before, you introduce me to a whole new world. Thank's for being who you are. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you whether I mean it or not. I'm afterall a human being, who makes mistakes. You guys are the most precious friends in high school, and I can never thank God enough for that. Much love and best of luck for us!

Jakuen 02

It's probably going to be Jakuen's last photo group. I'm gonna miss my sensei and the whole team, gonna miss all those time we've spent together rushing over Jakusai's work and watching anime together. We will soon walk our own way, separating from each other, but I hope the next time we meet again, it will be the time when we're already working on our dreams. Best of luck for us all!


So yeah, that guy above is titled as the smartest boy in science major, and was one of the 26 student representatives yesterday. I should be grateful for having a friend like Tara, who happened to know him, and introduced him to me. I remember when we first met, and how we did. It's funny because back then I didn't know he would be someone as "great" as who he is today. Well, after three years of studying at the same school, I could finally take a picture with him! ;D

Yep, congratulations because you just finished reading this post with massive selcas in it! /throws confetti/ I haven't technically graduated, because the result of the national exam itself isn't out yet. And I will still see my friends starting from 5th May because by then, the students will start studying at school (again), only this time we go to school wearing those white-grey uniforms to prepare ourselves for the national test to get into universities. Well, it's still a long road to go. Let's pray for the best. Ciao! xo

April 22, 2014

Maybe in another universe, I deserve you

by Gaby Dunn

What if, in another universe, I deserve you?

Hear me out. There's this philosopher from the 1890s named William James, and he coined this theory about "the multiverse" which suggests that a hypothetical set of multiple universes comprises everything that can possibly exist simultaneously.

Are you following? The entirety of space, time, matter and energy is all happening at once in different timelines: It's the idea of parallel universes. Right? So okay, let’s presume the multiverse is real.

Well then, maybe somewhere in those infinite universes is one, or several, where I deserve you.

Maybe there's a universe out there—happening now—where we end up together and when I close my eyes at night, I'm not dreaming the way a normal person would. Instead I'm seeing flashes of our lives in the multiverse. They're not simple dreams because I miss you, right? They're scientific, anachronistic visions.

Maybe there's a universe where that's the life I want. Where I don't second guess everything and I'm not afraid of commitment and of the future and of love. Maybe there's a universe without all the noise in my head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the coldness in my heart that I can turn on and off like a security fence.

Maybe there's a universe where I'm the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. A universe where we're happy—without wondering if that happiness is some messed-up Jenga game ready to topple at the slightest quiver. A universe where we're comfortable and sure, and we have cats.

If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be one universe—just this one—where we don't end up together. Here and now just happens to be it. If you think of it this way, nothing is our fault.

So see, that explains everything. We're not together anymore because of the multiverse.

Well, isn't that comforting?

If you're sad, do like I do and just think of the other verses. The ones where I believe in love and where I don't hate myself and where I never feel the need to kamikaze relationships. A universe where we can have nice things. It's helpful, right?

Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.

+++

So, I came across this writing on my other social media platform. And this opens my eyes to a whole new life theory. That there is indeed another universe happening right now, aside from the one that we've known all this time. We just never see it. We can't. Because we're too busy dealing with our current life. We've failed to see that there are galaxies of possibilities out there that in another universe, something great is happening to us—the another us. This isn't bad. This is good, great I must say. Because this helps me thinking when I feel like life can't be worse, it can. Or when life can't be any better, well, it can. The one that we're currently living is just the complementary of another universe we never see.

April 19, 2014

Music madness: on shuffle


Lately I've got lots of new music coming into my playlist. And most of them are foreign, yes. Not just foreign but really foreign, maybe to you too. Nowadays, the Hollywood music seems like a turn-off for me. I often listen to Asian songs, be it Mandarin, Korean, or Japanese. And today, I feel like sharing the world my first ever playlist on the blog, yay~ April has been a very tough month, and it's going to be even tougher next month and June because that's the real battle when I finally have to look for which university I'm gonna apply. These following songs I'm gonna recommend have accompanied me throughout the good and the bad days during national exam. And I really wish you can check them out! ^^

Mika ft. Ariana Grande - Popular Song // Since I jumped into kpop, my curiosity in exploring Western music became lesser because, well, it seems like my time is absorbed by exploring kpop, haha. But I should be blessed for having friends who still recommending me good songs from the world of the West. I have never heard about Mika before, a friend of mine told me he's a British, and Popular Song is the first song I listen from Mika. I'm not really fond of Ariana because the scandal she had with Victoria Justice lol. But I gotta admit it she pulled it off really well here I can give my heart to her. Other songs from Mika I highly recommend would be Underwater, The Origin of Love, and Stardust!
S.M. The Ballad - 太贪心 // Also known as 'Blind'. This one has another version sung by Yesung in Japanese and is included in S.M. The Ballad's second album. I am totally fangirling over Zhoumi's voice here because it's been such a long time since this sub group from SM made a comeback. And I've missed listening to Zhoumi's solo! Definitely going to be my lullaby~
S.M. The Ballad - 하루 // This song has been played for gazillion of times in my iTunes. Like, I listen to this almost every single day. I never thought combining two SM's violin-like vocalist was a great idea, but it is a brilliant idea. You put Ryeowook in this song and Haru is going to be the death of me. I just love the music and the instrument, both Jongdae and Jonghyun's voice are sooo beautiful and heart-slicing :"
BTS - 상남자 // I know that Bangtan Boys will never disappoint me. This group is possibly the only hip hop group out there who has successfully brought me to like them. Hip hop for me sounds much more fun when it's in Korean haha xD Other songs aside from this one would be Tomorrow. I totally love its dubstep goodbye lyfe
Kana Nishino - If // The first time I heard this song was when I attended a Japanese festival with my Japanese club. One of our members won at the second place and had to sing once again live on stage. That was the time when I heard it. And I still can't believe it she could actually sing this song because it has very pitch and loud. Definitely worth the shot.
Ailee - Let It Go // Yesterday I spent the night with hyung. Yea after we had our 'confession' conversation by the LINE chat, she headed over to my house to spazz together. Oh it's been a long time... But anyway, yesterday marks the date where I finally declared that Ailee is going to be my yeoja senpai because dude, she has a very beautiful, great, amazing, and powerful voice! Unlike female Korean singers mostly, she has the type of Western singer. And I really fell head over heels for her, oh I definitely would. Her version of Let It Go is going to be my favorite one so far. She really has the talent and I'd like to crown her as the Beyonce of Korea. Hats off.
Krystal f(x), Jessica SNSD ft. Kris EXO - Say Yes // I was scrolling down through my askfm timeline when I saw the link to this song. There's a new movie called 'Make A Move', starring BoA. Hyung said it's like the Korean version of Step Up. I wish I can watch it >< Back to the song, I was listening in awe knowing that the Jung sisters actually sing in pure English from the beginning. Not to mention there's fucking Kris here what can be better???
Super Junior-M - Swing // Like I said before SJM had their comeback right before EXO, and released their second mini album called Swing, just like the title song itself. I agree to say that this is by far the most successful mini album SM ever produced. When I just got the whole album, I quickly played it in the car and usually there's this certain song you would just skip because you dislike it. But not for Swing. I love all the songs. I love all the melodies, the spirit within each song, the fun, the sadness, the comforting tone. Oh I wish I had the money to buy the physical album T^T
2NE1 - Come Back Home // Despite the weird instrument it has, I can't say no to this song. And it's fucking 2NE1, so no lose for me to listen to their song.

So, there you have it! If you have good songs to recommend, please don't be hesitate to give your suggestions in the comment section! ^^ Happy Saturday night and enjoy your weekend ;) xo

Postponed


I could finally celebrate my birthday properly with my family last night. Mom and dad promised we would go somewhere to eat after the national exam, so I asked them again yesterday and we headed to eat ramen. It's been a while since I last went out with my family, and I miss it. Dad's getting busier day by day, he's got new projects coming and spent more time at his office even on Saturdays. Mom just started new business and she's always busy making orders and barely have time to accompany me window shopping like we used to. It's good that my family slowly have their own stuffs to do, but we barely have time to go out like this :c

Anyway, sending my deepest condolences for the victims of the Sewol accident. The news is still flashing through my twitter's timeline and the more I read about its update, the more my heart torn apart. I see them on TV and the act of the victims' relatives makes me cry. I can't even imagine if I have to lose my brother in that ship and waiting for him to return with the slightest miracle. #PrayForSouthKorea

Unbranded shirt and jeans, Elizabeth bag and shoes

Last night's #ootd, proudly sponsored by my beloved partner in crime, Tara. She gave me this super comfortable semi-shirt cardigan and it's oversized, hanging loosely from my body and doesn't give me fat effect lmao. Totally loving its material I swear it's really good for night out or simply day out with your friends I'm so happy that my best friend actually knows my style haha xD

April 18, 2014

Quote of the day

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

-Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli's Mandolin-

April 17, 2014

Santa, lend me your ear


I know, it's still far from December. And I know, my birthday was a week ago. But it feels weird not making wishlist of what I'm currently wanting ;D It's becoming a tradition, and I myself enjoy making one too, haha. So here goes the current wish list;

1 // Samsung Series 9 Premium Ultrabook. Not that I'm tired with my VAIO E-series, but some weeks ago when I was browsing the web, looking for certain phone for my dad, my eyes caught this beautiful beast on its page. Damn, man, it's so beautiful and slim and pearl white and when I read the specs... Goodness I gotta have this baby soon or later ;3; The design reminds me with Macbook, and I love Macbook because its design. Sadly I'm not one blessed with the ability to use Macintosh, I'm no tech savy heol... Fortunately Samsung comes with this and I quickly added it to my wish list. Sadly, this costs USD 1900, equals to IDR 21 million lol fuck me lord.

2 // My laptop is getting slower and slower each day, probably because I keep too many data inside. I hope to get either internal or external hard disk at least 1 TB to store all my necessities :$ It's fine if I didn't keep kpop videos and downloaded movies in my laptop haha ;D Living as a fangirl is hard, you gotta prepare your laptop to be able to hold all those spazzing stuffs~

3 // EXO's second mini album, 'Overdose'. Ohhh yeeeahhh they're finally back! With mini album tho, I still want them to have their second album instead of a mini one ._. I'll be having my Mandarin version like always, SM's going to release them on April 21st gah, that's way too long for me >< I can't wait to see the full MV of Overdose!

4 // I've got one from Julia last year, but I still want more! Especially this one with blue lotus drawing. I totally love the color seriously but I don't even have credit card to shop lmao maybe one day or maybe someone is interested to send me one, no? ;D

5 // Samsung Galaxy S4 in electric blue. Nooooo omg the last time I saw the commercial for Galaxy S3 they had it in pebble blue, not this one comes out in electric blue Samsung why you do this to me ;__; I read the specs few days ago, and this is the phone that I am going to recommend for dad to buy (he asked me to look for one since he's going to replace his old Blackberry) (in other words, I hope he'll listen ;p). I still love my Galaxy Wonder, but what I hate from Android device is that you can't upgrade your OS unlike iPhones. I wanna upgrade my Gingerbread since long time ago but they said if I do that my phone would work even slower and eventually dead T^T But yeeahhhh this one from Samsung definitely stole my heart

6 // Samsung NX Mini. "From wide-angle to telephoto shots, this lens has got you covered" << why didn't you show up earlier before I invested all my money to my 600D ಠ_ಠ Duh you've got perfect lens and perfect weight for everyday use, you can even do selfie using this, I need it. Like, really, really need. I would trade my 600D to this seriously.

Uhhh, I realized I'm such a gadget freak for wanting all those stuffs from Samsung. I'm not even doing sponsored post for them. I've been a loyal user of Samsung since I was little, and I guess it's a habit whenever I look for a gadget I'll always head to Samsung haha ;D Trust me this is not a sponsored post omg I just happen to list all those shimmery glittery smexy gadgets from them :x Have a nice day! xo

PS: I still accept gifts. Spoil me, c'mon guys...

Through the dark


You tell me that you're sad and lost your way
You tell me that your tears are here to stay
But I know you're only hiding
And I just wanna see you


You tell me that you're hurt and you're in pain
And I can see your head is held in shame,
But I just wanna see you smile again
See you smile again


But don't burn out
Even if you scream and shout
It'll come back to you
And I'll be here for you


I will carry you over
Fire and water for your love
And I will hold you closer
Hope your heart is strong enough
When the night is coming down on you
We will find a way through the dark


I wish that I could take you to the stars
I'd never let you fall and break your heart
And if you wanna cry or fall apart
I'll be there to hold you


You tell me that you hurt, it's all in vain
But I can see your heart can love again
And I remember you laughing
So let's just laugh again


And you don't need
You don't need to worry
And you will see it's easy to be loved
I know you wanna be loved


I will carry you over
Fire and water for your love
And I will hold you closer
Hope your heart is strong enough
When the night is coming down
.
.
.
.
We will find a way, through the dark


+++

Yesterday a package arrived within my doorsteps and I could tell it was the gift hyung-ah spoke the other day about her sending the gift instead of giving it out to me directly haha. And yes, you were right, hyung, it gave me goosebumps when receiving the package, it felt like the old times where I still used the postcards to send mails instead of using e-mails haha. This is so heart-touching because I'm a weak ass, a crybaby, and I always love handmade gifts because it shows me just how big a person's effort is when it comes to me >< There's a letter from her, telling that she's feeling that our relationship is getting strayed and... well, I felt guilty when reading it because I must have hurt her feelings through one of my blog post :c And I cried when I came to realize it. I should be grateful for finding her here in my high school life. She's one of a kind, and I was being a dumb ass for making her feel so upset and sad... Bad me, oh bad bad bad ;___; But we've talked last night, not directly tho I knew how awkward it would be if we talk by phone and she wouldn't like it. But I'm glad things are settled now and I hope I'll be able to spend more time with hyung-ah before I start studying for SBMPTN next week haha (fuck ye school won't let me have a rest!). But good news tho the national exam has ended! PARTY HARD!


Here's a bonus of me tying to be kawaii~


Have a nice Thursday! xo

April 11, 2014

Eighteen candles of hopes and wishes


Hi.

Uh, I know I said on my last post I wouldn't be posting anything until the national exam takes place. But I just can't help not to share the news to the world today (and partially because I want you to know too), that today, I am having my 18th birthday. The prayers aren't as many as I got the last time on my 17th birthday, but I can feel the sincerity in the ones that came today. Full of hopes and wishes for me to improve myself, to pass the obstacles and be a success person. I haven't seen any of my friends today but I their words sent through SNS and messages will be my greatest support for the mean time. I wish for myself that I would be a better person. I have to be a better person for everyone. I promise I'll work harder in every aspect of my life, I promise I'll be stronger and more independent for everyone to lean on. I'll work my ass off to make my parents proud. I'll make everyone realize my true self and until the day where no one can underestimate me anymore :) That dream ain't so bad, right?

I'll be facing national exam on Monday to Wednesday. The most important three days of my high school life is about to come in the count of days. Wish me luck! xo

April 03, 2014

Even the Devil was once an Angel

Unbranded shirt, unbranded tights, Destone bag, ICONinety9 shoes

I'm feeling sad :c Because a friend that I thought would share just everything with me, turns out she wouldn't. I have come to a realization that to be by her side is excessive, not when she never really thought about me. I'm a very loyal person at heart, I care about someone more than I do to myself because there was once in my life I was so unloved. I don't want other people to bear the same burden like I did. That's why I always offer my arms to whoever needs it out there. Sadly tho, sometimes when I give out my best to someone, that person never really see it the way I do. All the time I've spent with her, all the laughs and memories I've had with her, and the things she has taught me... I thought I meant something to her.


It's not that she publicly shows her betrayal to me. But she's not being honest to me. And I hate the fact that she doesn't seem to plan to tell me about the thing she had done behind me. I can accept it when someone makes a choice or takes over my plan, and then explain to me why. All she has to do is only tell me the reason. But she didn't. She still talks to me like nothing ever happened. Like she's not aware that she just successfully ruined my life plan for the next few years. And yet here I am, still thinking that she's doing this for the best of me.


I need someone to tell me that what I'm doing for tolerating her this way is not healthy (there, I just told myself). Whenever I see her I feel like wanna shove those tears I spent the day I knew the reality. I hate her for not telling me. I hate the fact that I had to know about this not from her, but from our friend instead. I hate her for keeping the secret until this far. I hate her for still doing it though she already knows I've been aiming for the things she just grabbed from me since I was a kid. I just hate her for silently stabbed me in the dark. I guess this is what happen when you believe someone so much that you end up not realizing she's been keeping a sharp knife behind her all this time. This is why some people are afraid to believe in someone, because when you start believing, you slowly give your defense mechanism a weaker point for someone out there to attack. Now look around you and look closely, which one of your friends is the Angel at first...? Watch out, because someday he / she will turn into a Devil.

+++

PS: This is going to be my last post before the National Exam approaches. Please wish me lots of luck for I'm going to apply for university soon! >< I really really need moral support and prayers from all around the world, I hope you're one of those people I'm gonna remember in my life! So see you in two weeks, loves! xo