October 20, 2014

I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up

Stylish shirt, unbranded skirt, ICONinety9 shoes, Lacoste bag, Monol watch

You know that moment when you feel like things are going really fast you can't even take a look around you even for a second because everything's a blur and no one is there to remind you to stop? I'm feeling that way now. Right -fucking- now. Apparently college life has so many troubles and being a college student means that you have to be able to look for your own good. I learn that I can't depend on my friends all the time. But that's okay because one day there's gonna be a chance I will have to face everything by my own. I start getting difficulties of not living with my parents in the same town anymore. Financial issue, most of the time. You know, typical girls who live far from their parents and my habit of eating many things all at once costs me more than I could handle haha. Also, if you happen to be reading my personal tumblr, I'm currently having love issue with my friend. And this apparently affects my academic life. I get jealous and frustrated and all, I feel down easily and I'm not as passionate as I used to during my first few weeks here. This 'love' has ruined everything and it keeps going out of control. It's like I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up. Without knowing when to stop or get out of the ride.

October 15, 2014


Hi guys! I'm in the middle of having midterm exam and I must say, as the first exam after I get to university, I'm not doing my best lol. I could have—should have—studied harder but after going through the third day today, I'm not sure with the result anymore. It will be a dream come true if I score A on the last few exams. It's not like I didn't have the time to study. Hell, I have all the time in the world to do it but when I come back from college and sit down in front of my desk, I surf the net instead of studying. And the next thing I realize is that the clock shows me it's 1 AM and I haven't studied anything. Exam starts on 8 o'clock in the morning and most of the time I wake up late and rush everything, leaving the guest house in a fast pace while having all the random thoughts about what I should have read on the way to college. I just hate myself.

Unbranded top, unbranded skirt, Lacoste bag, Airwalk shoes, Quartz watch

I'm so sorry with all the stuffs cluttered around these photos. I just moved out to my new place and I haven't really unpacked my things—clothes, books, and shoes. And right after I moved out, this whole mess of midterm attacked and so I didn't have time to settle things down. Or maybe it's just me being lazy. Anyway, it's funny how my college friends always surprised to see me wearing skirts—be it maxi or midi skirts—because they see me as a very tomboy girl. I can't argue with that, but can't totally agree as well. Because I can be both in a different time. Some days I love dressing up like a super feminine girl, some other days I feel so masculine that I wear my dad's tie just to spice things up.

Well, gotta study with Dharma (and some friends) now. So I'll just leave you guys with this. Have a nice day!

October 04, 2014

Silver screen and moving stage

Previously, I didn't expect at all to join with Sanggar. My first intention was to join with the organization that would help me to support my future work as an ambassador, which in other words, organizations like ALSA (Asian Law Student Association) or MUN (Model United Nations), or probably even Dema (Dewan Mahasiswa or student council). But it all changed when I saw the girls from Dancer Soul performed rancak dance at the closing ceremony of PPSMB Merdeka. And it was really really beautiful, so cool like I had my eyes a little bit teary at that time because seriously, I've been dancing traditional dance for years and I know it's perfect when I see one. Not to mention that one of my favorite senior was a part of the dance, so in the end, I decided to join the Dance Division in Sanggar. I was really late when I returned the form, and I mis-read the the column where it supposed to say which field I wanted to apply in, but I read it as 'which field you have been on before' instead. So I stupidly checked all the divisions except one; theater. Because clearly, I had no theatrical background and I can't act. Until finally on the same day, kak Eva asked for the dance kids to assemble on our first meeting. The main point was to ask us if we could lay a help for theater because they still needed more players. Everyone from Dancer Soul came on the first trial. But then after knowing how hard it was to play on the theater, some of us started leaving, until finally, me, Cyn, and Rhia were choosen as the (not so) lucky one to play. I didn't know if I had to feel happy or sad because one side I realized of my own capability and I knew I had so little confidence to even act on the stage, but on the other hand, I was wondering about it because I never made it into the theater, so it’s totally a whole new experience for me. And suddenly Rhia pulled herself out of the production, leaving me and Cyn. I was confused at first because Mr. Director told us that we would play as surrealist actors and as much as I knew, surrealist was one of the hardest genre in theater. I didn't know if I could make it or not. But I learned everything step by step, starting from how to show my expression until how I move from one point to the other. It was all a whole new experience for me. I was scared to show my expression to the public, and I was having trouble for not having loud voice to speak with, but now it all has changed because I could finally open that one box which hid all my confidence all this time. I have been a really shy girl to act on stage, but now I'm not anymore. Even more, I get addicted with the applause from the audience. Mr. Director was indeed true; awalnya cuma coba-coba, sekarang justru ketagihan teater haha.

Here are the photos when we performed at Pendopo Tejakusumo FBS UNY last Friday. I can't believe it's been a week since then. The title of the play is "Ayahku Stroke, Bukan Mati" which was fully handled by kak Vandi, aka Mr. Director. Check them out!

This one is kak Mitha. She's from Communication, which I don't know which batch, from UPN. Yep, so this theater play doesn't consist only the kids from Law UGM, but also from other faculty, even other university. That's why I'm so glad I got the chance to be one of the actors in this play because I get a lot of new friends through this! The kids say that kak Mitha looks like my long lost older sister and we could finally see each other again here, haha! Maybe it's because the fact that we both love to laugh even over the littlest thing and we wear glasses with the same medium length hair. Much resemblance?

This is kak Mitha's boyfriend, kak Aji. He also comes from UPN majoring technical engineering. He's quite a funny man and has this friendly look from his face. He got double role this time and it was really entertaining to see him running across the backstage to get all his costumes done on time!

Kak Riyan and kak Begum!

Kak Helvi and kak Age from Psychology UGM '12!

My fellow classmate (most of the classes, well), Cyn.

My boy (the one in dark blue shirt) before he turned to be the Red Devil.

Music team from Justimun!

Yep, so this is the transformation that I had to go through to be the misguided ghost. Gotta admit that I was really concerned about my hair-do because it was terribly damaged to get the 'messy' effect of a ghost. Fortunately the hair-do team didn't use any hair spray and let me had my half-dead-half-alive hair as how it was without further ado. Because if they did, I swear I would have ran to the nearest salon the same night to get my hair repaired and done. It loosed down again the next morning after I washed it with conditioner. Thank's to kak Lukas from Art Division for the make up!

The ‘gay’ doctor, doctor Deddy!

See? Told you so...

This friend over here is another surrealist actor who played along with me. His name is Fakhrul. He acted as the Grim Reaper. And eventhough he only showed up on stage only for a brief few seconds, his role was the coolest one among us surrealist actors! I kinda disagree tho because Dharma still amazes me as the Red Devil.

Clay senpai, the player button pusher! ;p

Wow. I can't believe I just made a new history in my life. At last, for the first time in my life, I played on a theater. The first and main reason why I never got into it is because for me, theater is a very holy place, even holy-er than TV drama and big screen movies. On theater, you are demanded to exaggerate every movement and scene. You gotta be more expressive and look passionate. That is why playing in this theater takes a lot of energy and high level of concentration. Especially for the surrealist actors, gosh. I had to drag my own body from the bottom of the stage to the top of it, somehow throwing the fact that I weight 58 kilos out of the window. Like, seriously??? I never knew I could do that!

But I'm glad that everything went really well. And I feel so proud because I could give my contribution for APAKAH theater. And I'm ready for another round of theater. I can't wait for another play!