September 28, 2015

Candle maker

Unbranded cardigan and tank, Gesale skirt, Solany shoes

It's almost one month.

One month ago I decided to finally open my heart and said yes to the man that I've known for a year now as my first ever boyfriend. And you know what? Something about being in a relationship teaches me about a lot of things. Like I finally learn more about myself, about how I can be so selfish at times when my better half is not spending his time with me, how annoying I can be when I don't get what I want, or how persuasive I am just so he chooses me over anything else. And I never knew I had this kind of personality before I got into a relationship. I may not be the best girl with the best personality, but like how he always says to me; "I know you hate promises, so I won't promise. Instead, I will try. That's better than promise, right?". And to appreciate his effort in trying to cope up with me and all the mess I've brought him into, I am trying to be a better companion for him. To be the best girlfriend out there.

I am a hard person to love. That's probably why I could stay single for 19 years, because I kept pushing away those who tried to knock on my door. The thing is I know that I'm a mess myself. I am difficult to handle, I have some personalities that I know if someone sees my true colors, they will leave me alone. Because I have seen people giving up on me many times before so I get used to it. I get used to seeing people come and go in my life, even the most important ones. I couldn't make them stay no matter how hard I tried. So that's why I prefer being alone. But now I have one person who would do almost anything to make sure I'm not lonely anymore. To make sure that I'm happy and blessed to have someone by my side as my home. Someone to run back into. Arms to go home to. And I'm trying—god, I really am—to be a better person for him. Not because I don't wanna be myself, but because some personalities need to go away for the sake of a better relationship. Staying true to yourself is good. But where's the good in being yourself if it hurts the people who love you? The road isn't easy. I've grown too comfortable with my selfish and annoying self for the past 19 years. I just hope that it's not too late to make some good changes.

As I told you guys on my previous post, I am wearing my brand new shoes here *happy*. Because I know I have bored you guys with the same fucking white platform shoes on many posts before so I hope this one will at least give a fresh look for you! The stripped cardigan is also a new-in. I knew it would look just good with a black LBD but since I didn't have one (yet), I paired it with my black tank and black skirt. It looks like an LBD, right? :D It's always fun playing with fashion items and recreate many looks with the same garments. Thoughts?

September 27, 2015

Cappuccino or espresso, your call

Few days ago my parents came to town to pay me and my brother a visit. And like always, while they're here, it's time for me to do some shopping spree! I guess having 14 pairs of shoes doesn't prevent me for adding yet another couple pairs into the shoe rack lmao. As a college student who lives far away from my source of money a k a my parents, I have to pick the right shoes which I can wear either to the class or for casual strolling with my friends. The shoes gotta have dual function so I can switch them anytime I need to. Also, since I'm still unemployed, I don't like spending too much money on my stuffs. I was accompanying mom looking for new shoes when she found the black slippers on the sale rack. She fell in love with it but the size didn't fit. So I tried them on and they fitted! The shoes were on sale for IDR 100k only and I couldn't help but to take another shoes with the same style but different color just because they were on ~sale~ hahahahahah. Oh women. So, what do you think about them? xx

Merapi Museum

Hi! Few days ago (can't remember when) I went to visit Merapi Museum with my friends. This time, not the usual gangs. We tagged along one junior with us because she told us she really wanted to see Merapi upclose. Sadly though, one of us had to catch a flight so we didn't have much time to explore the mountain. The museum is located far on the northern part of the city and is very accessible, don't worry. You can see many things you probably don't know about volcanoes, earthquakes, tsunami, and all the history of many Indonesia's famous volcanoes. So happy that I finally managed to visit this place! I wish I could hike Merapi. But then again, I don't think my parents would pleased to hear that, ha! Sorry for the low quality photos, I forgot to bring my DSLR with me that day so I could only show you some photos I took using my phone.

September 15, 2015


If you ask me whether I'm a city or a nature person, the answer always depends on my current mood. I love fresh, big space that makes me feel so little against the world like being in the open air, but I don't really like getting myself dirty with mud or walking through the woods. Some days I can be a city person, but some other days I long for a day off from the rustling hour of the honking vehicles and paper task from university. And probably run away to somewhere I've never been before.

The conversation was rather vague at first. It came out as a blabbering instead of something clear and demanding. And I didn't see it coming. I was on my way back home with Eri when I told him I wanted to go on a long trip with him. Just another crazy wish I had in mind and now that we're together, he's getting used to listen all my other crazy wishes (I also told him I wanted to visit Ireland just to watch the people playing bagpipes). And just like how he always handles me when I start asking him for this and that, he will hum and smiles and that's it. I never really ask for him about it again because it's just a blabbering. So you can guess how I felt when he told me he would take me to a place I've never been before on Saturday night. Yes, happy. So happy. He took me to Sarangan, which I can't give you the complete detail of how to get there because you guys know I'm bad at directions. So I guess you just have to google that up. Eri has been to Sarangan with his friends so this time I was the only one getting introduced to this new place. Here are some photos that I managed to snap along the way. Enjoy!

It took us three hours (or more) from Jogja to Sarangan. But personally for me, the journey didn't feel so tiring because... I don't know, maybe because I spent it with him. As you can see on the photos above, our main goal was to visit the lake. Along the way you will go pass through the forest and Lawu mountain. The forest felt so magical, as if you were on that Twilight movie because of the tall trees even though they're not pine trees—but still as magical. We stopped a few times to take photos and breathe the fresh air. Sarangan was pretty cold so I suggest for you guys to wear thick clothes and bring your warm sweater with you if you don't want to get dead cold. I thought Sarangan was the forest itself, but turns out, it was a lake. We arrived just in time when the sun was still shining through the clouds and thin fog, its rays reflected on the water oh so beautifully.

It's all worth it in the end

The lake wasn't so packed and there were speedboats that you can rent if you want to. But I opted not to get onto the ride because I wasn't in the mood to. So me and Eri just sat down on the lip of the lake and talked about everything and nothing at the same time, he smoked while I took some selfies, sharing some glances, stolen kisses... I felt so content that day.

Thank you, baby.

I never stop asking this universe of what have I done in my previous life to deserve you.