February 09, 2016

When it ends you

Right now I’m browsing through one tag that I never thought I’d type in:

Depression quotes.

I always do that. Whenever I feel down or happy, sad, romantic, anything, I will go to Pinterest and start pinning images there. It helps the feeling to sink deeper into my mind. And looking at the images splayed on my dashboard right now, I feel terrified with myself. Am I really depressed?

The last few days have been a whee for me. And I can’t even explain why. And I guess that’s the worse part in life when you feel sad and you don’t even know the reason behind it. So I just start crying every night, I fall apart when everyone else is sleeping, after pretending like I’m okay to my closest people. But the truth is, I’m not okay. The next morning I will start faking everything all over again, hiding the truth about what is happening to me, tightly closing all the doors that keep my secrets and problems so people won’t be able to find out what’s wrong with me. I know it’s not wise to do so, but I have always been like that.

I’m that one person who only tells a story when I feel like it. Many times my friends tell me to just be open about what problems I’m facing, or if I feel like I hate one of them because of certain reasons. But I can’t. Because I like hiding everything. I keep them all to myself. I always overthink everything. If I open talk about my problems I have with everyone, it will only make the problems even bigger. And I need more time and energy to solve it. I can’t do that. I know this will only hurt my mind because nothing good ever comes from hiding problems.

I guess this is why I’m browsing the depression quotes tag.

1 comment:

  1. duh quotenya nava, :') kaka juga sering ngalamin depresi atau sedang down se down-downnya tanpa tau penyebabnya, yah mungkin ini proses dewasa ya


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