July 22, 2017

500 days of...


I think I know how it feels to be Summer.

When she decided not to settle in a committed relationship with Tom yet she still treated him like he was her boyfriend, it is clear what kind of message the movie is trying to say.

She is used to see people who love each other destroy each other. And when I look around, it's not so different with how things go in real life. Because that happens to me too, sadly. I mean, I have a habit. I destroy the people I love for no reason, mostly because of my own anxiety. And God so help me to remind myself that self love is important before I start any relationship. My anxiety hypnotized me to treat people like they're about to leave me anytime soon. Which results in me pushing them away. I have dealt with this kind of feeling for years now, because people leave me, always. And it's saddening, knowing that I can't do anything about it. I can't see love as a magic word anymore. Like it's losing its meaning the moment I was left by my ex boyfriend for some girl. Whenever a man tries to hit me up, I can't bring myself to be excited or interested in them. It's weird, considering I'm an attention whore. And then I remember Summer Finn. The way she sees love is unique, and very realistic. Maybe that's why people hate her in the movie. Because it's too realistic.

But I know now, how it feels to be Summer.

And I think that's the best thing to feel for now.

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