Oh she goes beyond your expectation? Good, good. Please don't let her go. Post her more, showcase her more. Praise her more. It will do you good. I'm too used feeling this way to even cracked open again. But I hope you're great. So great that I don't need to look for you every once in a while.

I'm sorry I didn't say anything on your birthday. Because I was so scared I would lose you again after knowing what she gave to you. Of course that shouldn't matter. I tried to involve everyone who loves you into your gift while she kept it nice and private and gave you exactly what you want. I just made things because I had no money to buy you that board game that costs me two weeks of my living cost. But hey, at least my gift was made by my own hands pure from the heart. But you didn't post it on your social media and confide it and so, up until today I think you hate it and find it ugly.

You like her in short hair. You used to plead me not to cut my hair even for an inch. Because you like it long so you can play with them. But that's okay maybe that's so you won't ever have to remember the pain you gave to me while looking at her.

Yeah, I do still have feelings for you. Not sure what feelings tho. Hatred? Anger? Jealousy? Disappointment? Or love? I have no idea. And I still like to touch the wounds whenever it tries to close up. Like what I did this morning when I checked your and her Instagram account out of the blue and saw everything I didn't really want to see, but well, it was as expected. My heart has stopped breaking because you can't break something that's already broken, right?

I hope you're doing great.

I hope you're happy.

I hope she's grateful.

I hope she's the one.

I hope you guys make it until the end.

In order to let go, I have to admit that I'm unhappy. Then I have to admit the reason why. And understand that I have to accept and let go. No more lying.

But I'm sorry that we still can't be friends. It's not that I haven't accepted you wholeheartedly, or I don't want to. But Sade's right; I can't force being friends with someone like you. If I were friends with you again, I would accept you as you are. And the more I accepted you, the more I wanted more. So I'm sorry that I still can't talk to you. Though I would love to play that board game you like so much hehe. You must be frickin happy to have her, since she goes beyond your expectation. While I was just like what you expected me.

Again, Sade's right. You forced the break up and closed the door when things were still unsettled. It was done for you, but not for me. And relationship is all about two people, so you can't expect things to be okay when you make decision for one. It's even worse when you just waltzed out of my life with another woman just like that and refused to settle things down until I'm satisfied with the situation. But if that's how you live, then I'm bound to feel this way.

I wish I can find my own happiness soon. Just like you did.

Even though a part of me says I still want you to be my happiness.

But we can still have our happily ever after ending, separately.

Finallyyy after two months disappearing again and again from the blog, I have something to share with you guys! c: So it's that time of the year again, which means, it's time for ArtJog! It's my third year celebrating ArtJog, I still remember the first time I visited ArtJog 8 and it was so amazing, so many interactive artworks and creations, so overwhelming. I always love going to the museum or art exhibition (that's like my thing!) and every year I cannot wait to experience ArtJog because they always come up with exciting theme and crazy art, it will make you totally jealous. Although sometimes let's admit it, we are more focused on taking 'artsy' photos in the exhibition because of our narcissism (because I do too!) but ArtJog actually gives you something to think about, always. It's refreshing to see all these gems because some of them gives you ideas and some leave your jaw hanging. It's always up and down in ArtJog. Okay so enjoy the photos. And as always, see you on the next post! xx

It still amazes me sometimes of what technology nowadays has to offer especially in the photography area. I still own my old bulky Canon 600D which I'll never want to trade for anything else in the world (except, under some circumstances), but I can't deny the fact that Harry (my camera) is too heavy to be brought around and he's not very handy when I'm chasing quick moments on the road. I believe it requires skill that I have to polish every now and then. DSLRs are very bulky and heavy and take so much space in my bag so it's impossible for me to bring Harry everyday. I wish I could, because I love seeing random things and snap them. This is the kind of situation where I would think about getting a mirrorless camera. Recently one of my friend bought one and I get the chance to try it often and I feel so convenient using it. Although, I don't really enjoy the camera setting because I'm too used with DSLR's complexity, but the small body camera totally wins my heart. BUT anyway, I was gonna talk about my new baby, ASUS Zenfone 3 Max that I just bought few days ago as my birthday present and its amazing image quality. I do realize that the megapixels isn't an upgrade from my previous Lenovo S850 so let's take it this way; to every one of you who loves to take pictures, forget about your gear. You can take amazing photos with whatever equipment you have. It doesn't have to be an expensive and the latest camera on the market, because great photographers are the ones who can work through any kinds of camera and still produce masterpiece regardless.

I'm also sharing these photos at my portfolio blog, here. Do check it out!

This baby just came in today as I've told you above. The moment I bought the white sandals, I immediately needed new black outer to complete my outfit because I had none. I saw one that caught my heart at the Floh Market as well but when I came back the next day, the jacket that I had my eyes on was no longer there :( It's pretty surprising that Popoluca's stuffs actually fit my taste especially in their outerwear section. They have a lot of choices from bomber to army to silk jacket with beautiful embroidery. I was gonna get the velvet top that I tried in the first photo but as I've told you, I don't like spending all my money all at once. So maybe I'll bring that baby home next week, fingers crossed!

Thank you for reading and I hope you guys have a nice weekend! xx

I realize that I rarely speak about the local entertainment in the blog. It's always about cafe and restaurant. So for the very first time, I'm gonna talk about my late night walk to the infamous flea market located in southern Jogja, Pasar Klithikan. After doing papers with my study group yesterday, it was still too early for me to stay inside so I chatted Caesar and asked him if he had any plans that night. He said he was going to Pasar Klithikan with our two seniors to look for cassette tape there and since I've never been there all my life, I decided to come along and take my camera with me. Pasar Klithikan is a flea market that sells everything, from secondhand bags, shoes, books, old money, gadgets, to small things that would complement your needs, even the most unthinkable things are sold there. Many say that it's a place where stolen things are being sold but of course, there's no way to prove that, but I have a friend who happens to see his stolen helmet sitting nicely, waiting to be bought there. I still think it's hard to find a decent flea market here in Jogja (that doesn't have rumors about selling stolen things) because I always think that there's an art in scoring something from a secondhand store. You don't just get the thing you're searching for, you also get a 'story' from the things you buy. It comes with a history, comes with a 'fighting scar' and that for me is the most interesting thing about going to the flea market. But of course, you have to be pretty good in bargaining with the seller. And I personally think it's gonna be a whole lot easier if you're fluent in Javanese, since we live in the Javanese population. But if you're not looking for anything in particular, you can always pay this strange little flea market near Malioboro to kill your time. I recommend going there after the sun sets because that's just how I like to enjoy my walk around the market. Whatever floats your boat.